idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
