Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
