I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
