You can't motorboat a personality
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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