Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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