...so i touched it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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