Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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