i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
