They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize