My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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