She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
