Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
