Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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