there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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