Ketchup is God's man juice
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize