Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
