I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
