Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
