he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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