I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize