I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
