I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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