she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
