why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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