My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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