dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
