I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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