THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
