God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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