That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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