oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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