Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He did a backflip because drugs
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
