i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
