we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just pee around me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
