Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
