omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
