Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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