the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
