real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
someone owes me an orgasm
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
