Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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