I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
