It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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