Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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