4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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