she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Randomize
