My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There's always time for handjobs
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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