Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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