Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize