When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
