I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
