Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
