Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
