oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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