And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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