Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
