My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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