I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
