So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
