Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize